The Random Yaoi Story
by The Jesus Cannibal Bunny
Summary: Bakura and Yami have a small arguement regarding music groups and Marik pops in for a little 'visit'. Bakura heds over to a bar and encounters the infamous and drunk Seto Kaiba! YAOI pairings: Yami Marik x Yami Bakura, Yami Marik x Yami, Seto x Yami Bakur


_**Totally do NOT own YuGiOh!**_

"Talking"

"_thinking"_

………………__switching scene

Enjoy!!!

"..Bakura?"

"Yes, Yami?"

"You're not alright.. are you?"

"No, Yami, no I am not." came the gruff reply from the former Tomb Thief.

"Well the road to sanity is a (long) road you haven't been on… for quite a long time." Yami mumbled quite loud enough for Bakura to hear.

"Just what are you getting at?" Bakura questioned in his usual gruff tone.

"Wellll.. It's just that I think the music that you listen to could be influencing you in a -negative- way!" Yami exclaimed giving Bakura a look that said, "You-Know-Very-Fucking-Well-What-Group-I-Speak-Of!".

"WTR? There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with me listening to _**Dimmu Borgir**_! ..Besides, you listen to that _**Cradle of Filth**_**crap**you little hypocrite! They're lyrics are JUST _AS_ disturbing!" Bakura countered whilst thrusting forward an accusing finger that touched the tip of Yami's nose. Not liking Bakura's finger there Yami attempted to bite it only to be poked roughly on the forehead with said finger.

Pouting, Yami swatted his acquaintances hand away. "That's different! Dani Filth is sizzlin'!"

"..Sizzlin'? You think that screeching lunatic is -Sizzling-? ..What about this handsome devil standing right in front of you?! I'm bloody gorgeous, admit it!" Boasted the Ring Spirit as he tousled his hair about his shoulders in a fashionable manner.

Yami blinked up at the psycho-Thief through thick, black-lashes. He looked bloody well tooo innocent for his own good, staring up at Bakura curiously in an innocent manner as though he didn't comprehend the Thief's strange behaviour.

"Uh, you have nice hair, yes?" Babbled Yami as he'd not taken in Bakura's dialogue.

Scowling down at Yami he tossed his hair over his left shoulder and posed akimbo in front of him.

"You truly are stupid, aren't you ?!" Bakura chided as though he were speaking to Marik.

_"Alright, he's ra-damned cute.. but too clueless for my taste!" _Mused Bakura as he continued to glower down at the petit Yami.

"No, Bakura you are the stupid one here, not me! So go take your pretty, silky white hair and toss it around somewhere else!" Seethed the petit Yami as got up and stomped out of the living area, rather ungracefully might I add.

"Keh, he's totally jealous of my long, flowy, silky -WHITE- tresses!" Boasted the narcissistic Tomb Robber.

Marik popped his (spiky) head into the living room and glanced around until his eyes found Bakura.

"Hey, SMEXY-bizatch! Whazz up?" Exclaimed (sligthy tipsy)Yami No Marik.

"What the-? Where'd you come from, parasite!?" Bakura howled the question in a less than calm and polite manner.

"Heaven, baby.." Drawled the psycho-er Yami whilst sauntering over to the fuming teen.

"Alright, alright.. Don't-Come-ANY-CLooooSER!" Bakura screeched whilst holding his hands up as a sign to back off. Seeing that Marik had no intention of backing off, Bakura's Millennium Ring shone with a golden intensity which made Marik realize the Bakura was seriously pissed.

"Good, so glad to see that I've gotten your attention finally!" Bakura ground-out whilst his complexion currently looked like that of a cherry tomato (I love those! They're great in salads!).

"Tell me what's wrong my little goochy-goo?!!" Marik pursed his lips whilst achieving his own queer form of "baby talk" to Bakura that made said thief cringe at the others (abnormally)high-pitched tone.

"Oh go fuck an innocent pedestrian and leave me the brICK alone!" Bakura whined as he plopped himself on the couch and burying his head under a small pillow.

"But t'I wan'ta fuck you!" Said (more like whined) Marik with a smirk'ish-pout.

"Marik… You're drunk again.. aren't you?"

"…."

"MARIK! Get the FECK outta here!" Came the muffled scream of Bakura's voice that was smothered by the pillow.

And just as Marik pounced on Bakura, Yami stomped into the living room with a look sour scowl imprinted on his usually passive face.

"Bakura I just wanted you to know… that…." Yami paused in mid-rant to stare at Marik who now had Bakura's hands pinned above his head, straddling his hips.

"Hey, little sexy! Wanna strip down and join us?" Marik enquired, winking down at Bakura seductively whilst yanking on the said males hair roughly, earning a gruff yelp from the teen beneath him.

"Wh-what!? N-nn-no! I will not join in on your… crude activities!" Yami squeaked, trying his best not to notice his cheeks growing warmer by the millisecond.

Marik shrugged , "A'ight. I guess it's just you n' me my snuggle-puss!" Cackled the slightly-nutty, dominating Yami.

"Oh no you don't! If you two even so much as strip down on that couch I _WILL_ personally poke-you-to-death with my handy-dandy fire-poker!" Threatened the smallest in a deranged state.

"Wow, ... like that would ever happen! Besides.. Marik'll have to rape me if he wants it that bad! Now get the hell off of me, you perv!" Bakura barked viciously. Noticing that Marik's attention was focused on the petit Yami, Bakura gave the other a look of disgust before shoving the other off completely.

Marik yelped when his face came in contact with the floor. This made Bakura laugh.. _**Hard**_.

"Hn, guess I won't be needing my superty-duper-handy-dandy, fire-poker after all.." Yami said wistfully as he placed it back on its rack.

Jumping up and bounding over in Yami's direction, Marik skidded to a stop in front of Yami, who stood (in all of his fiery-shortness!) blinking up at the a little-too-menacing-looking, Marik.

Resting his elbow on Yami's shoulder, Marik smirked down at the flustered Yami.

"How you 'doin?…" Marik all-but purred whilst looking the other up and down as if he were checking the smaller male out.

"I-I-I'm a l-li-little.. fr-freaked ou-out! What a-a-re you going t-to d-d-do to me?" Stammered the quivering Yami as he tried to inch away, only to be pulled into him even closer.

"I haven't quite made up my mind.. Perhaps you would like to be in the position Bakura was in earlier?" Mused the much taller Yami who hardly directed the 'question' towards the petit other.

"Oh lay off the poor kid, Marik! He's probably still a virgin!" Bakura muttered the last part out but Yami's acute ears picked it up and he suddenly looked surprised.

Frowning, Yami pointed a finger at Bakura, "How would you know that, Bakura? I don't recall telling you something like that." Yami said with a pointed stare.

"Well.. I know this because you had told me so. Remember that night when I broke into your bedchamber?" Drawled the Thief as he looked over his shortly-trimmed nails as though they had suddenly become more interesting.

"o-oh, yeah.. I remember that. ….However I was only 15! Who would get laid at such an age!?" Enquired the small Yami enthusiastically.

Bakura gave a curt cough into his over-turned hand and gave Yami a look that said, "_**Me**_-You-Little-Skank!".

Yami gulped and bowed his head towards the ground.

"Oh come now, Yami it's nothing to be ashamed of! After all you look like the same fifteen-year-old-Prince that I had loved to peek at in the baths.." (once again) Bakura mumbled out the last part and of course Yami's keen little ears picked it up.

"I AM NOT ASHAMED!.. And ..you did.. WHAT?! When I was in the.. WHERE?" Boomed the petit Yami who was not enjoying the hands that constantly roamed his body no matter how many times he shoved them away.

"It's best that you not know." The Thief waved-off the others interjection and sauntered out of the living room with Yami who followed close behind him (not wanting to be left alone with the perv).

"Now, _my Prince _I shall take my leave.. Marik! Come! We must go to a gay bar!" Bakura announced to his slightly-drunk comrade.

"But t'I wanna hang with the sex-bunny for a bit!" Slurred the psycho (times-infinity and beyond) Yami while wrapping a tanned arm around Yami's shoulders who blushed at both the _nickname_ and the _physical contact._

"Fine! SEE IF I CARE!" Wailed Bakura who failed instantly at trying to sound unaffected by the others decision. And with that said from the former thief left, giving the front door a good SLAM on his way out.

Quirking an eyebrow at his _fuck-buddy's _outburst, Marik bent down and scooped Yami up in his arms, bridal-style.

"Yeeek!" was Yami's panicked reaction as he was carried to his room and thrown on his Hikari's bed, roughly (sound a little familiar?).

"You ready for me..?" Came the hushed husky voice of Marik as he slowly advanced on Yami who was currently convulsing to no end.

"N-nn-no! P-pl-please d-don't take me! N-not on Yugi's bed!" Begged the trembling Yami as he clasped handfuls of the Yugi's favourite quilt into his small, sweaty hands.

"It's now or never, my little love.. And I'm sure Yugi won't mind… much.." Came the his prely.. soon followed bya dark chuckle from Marik as he climbed onto the bed and pressed his lips to the petit others lips, forcing his tongue into Yami's mouth effortlessly.

…………………….

_**At Da Gay Bar**_

"Fook teh world'sh! I'sh sh'have sh'tolen moneh' and de blue pen!" Slurred the more-then-overly drunk, Bakura whilst thrusting a unsteady hand in the air that clutched a RED pen in his fist.

Beside him sat a very well known billionaire in the same state and spoke up to him quite nastily, " 'Sho!? I'nsh gots a lotta moneh and'sh gots s'a fancy-sh'mancy black'sh pen!! Bea dat'sh!" Drawled the just-as-drunk-brunette who was inches away from the others face.

Bakura wrinkled his nose and brought his hand up and pinched his nose in distaste.

"Holy cow'sh! What fuck'sh shoo been'sh zzz'drinkin buddeh!? WhOOooo'sh!" Exclaimed the slurring Thief who was unaware of how close he was to the other male.

"Shut'tup n' kiss'sh meh!" Cried Seto whilst he pressed his mouth to the others, roughly. This instantly turned into an intense battle of Tonsil-Hockey!! (You will never know who won! maniacal laughter)

:Fin:

Lame ending, yes.. But it was supposed to be anyway!


End file.
